Today was a rough day at work, and when I got home, all I wanted to do was curl up into a ball and pretend it never happened. I think before I started doing this, and started saying the words “F*cking majestic” to myself as a little mantra, that’s exactly what I would have done, and I would have just passed it off as “another one of those bad days”.
But, once again, the internet keeps me accountable, because honestly one of the driving factors on not just giving in and giving the day up as lost was “I don’t want to put that on my blog, even if no one is going to read it”.
So, here I am, and things I have learned: it’s going to take me a bit more practice to get the hang of this meal plan thing. I’m going to need to rework my meal plan I think. Also, I’ve heard John Green say a lot of things that perfectly capture how I feel about my body and what needs to change. This gem is from this video.
“For most of my life, I have thought of my body as an antagonist to myself, which often manifested in behaviours that were destructive to my body”
This is completely true for me, and something I’m really striving to change. My destructive behaviours are not the same as John’s, for example I’ve never smoked, but the message is still there. In addition, almost all of my destructive behaviours are centred around food, whether that’s binge-eating, or starving myself, or “punishing” myself by eating food that I know will make me sick.
I’m working on it, I really am, and this here? This is helping.
On to the rest of the day:
I tried out my local rock climbing gym, the Guelph Grotto, for the first time today, because I love rock climbing and I figured nothing would get me out of the mood I was in like it. I didn’t manage to find myself a climbing buddy, so I went alone, and… to be honest I wasn’t impressed. I tried to judge the gym fairly, and tried to ignore the fact that there was a birthday party going on, so everywhere I went I was bombarded by 10-12 year-old boys, but even with that aside, it was a small gym with a large number of things and people in it. Wherever I went, I felt like there was someone directly above me, which is a far cry from my local gym at school, Grand River Rocks which has a whole load more space. I’m a bit claustrophobic, and I found myself panicking while I was there which is something I hadn’t done at a rock climbing gym for a long while. I’m not really afraid of heights, so I think it was the closeness of the area and how I felt like I was climbing on top of people all the time that did it.
In the Grotto, there is a little bouldering cave area with some rings and a space where you can stretch. Once I had climbed as much as I was going to be able to with the facility that busy, I headed up there to stretch a bit and see if I could get some abs and arms in there. There were children up there too, and I only managed to get a few things in before I could ignore them no longer.
So all in all not my best climbing experience, but it was at least a bit of a workout, and I’m sore enough that I feel satisfied.
Breakfast was again as planned, and the same as yesterday with lactose-free Greek yoghurt, strawberries, and granola. I’m even being good and using up the granola I don’t like before buying more! I’m going to need another breakfast plan soon though, because I’m running out of both fruit and granola.
Lunch was.. a bit hit and miss. I still have rice cakes and peanut butter left over, although I did eat some of them. I also drank the yoghurt that I was supposed to have yesterday (note to self, buy more peach Yop. That stuff is delicious, and helps keep you full). I tried to eat some potatoes, I really did, but they just weren’t a good texture, they still felt raw. New plan is to try baking them instead of frying or microwaving them to see if that helps. I also did not eat the oatmeal, because I was so sick of carbs. Taking a look at my meal plan, I really should have seen that, the whole meal was carbs with a tiny bit of protein, I needed some veggies in there! That’s something I’ll try to keep an eye out for when planning meals in future.
Because lunch was a bit unsatisfactory, I ended up snacking when I got home from work. I tried to keep the processed food to a minimum, because at the time it was all I wanted, but still ended up having a slice of lemon meringue pie (yes I know that was for dessert). I also had my new favourite snack, veggies (in this case cauliflower and broccoli) and ranch dressing. (Note to self, contrary to what I’ve believed all my life, I prefer cauliflower over broccoli. Maybe try out just cauliflower next time? But good call on getting the pre-washed and pre-cut up ones, it may seem excessive and expensive, but it’s a lot easier to convince yourself to actually eat veggies if you minimize the preparation time. At least for now, stick with it. Because I’m honestly not sure if you would have eaten the veggies and dip if you’d had to wash them and cut them up yourself.)
Dinner was *almost* a struggle. I live in a neighbourhood where almost every fast-food chain in existence is within walking distance, and especially when you’re coming home late after climbing, its really tough to resist.. But I did! I improvised a meal with leftovers rice and a pre-packaged Indian curry, which was spicy, warm, and satisfying 🙂 I may also sneak in a couple of chocolate covered digestive biscuits for dessert.
That’s all for today, I can’t bring myself to re-do my meal plan just now, so I’ll work on that tomorrow hopefully, for now my hands hurt a bit from climbing and I could use a shower and an early night!
Take good care, and if you are a person that is reading this, please leave me a comment! Especially if you’re doing your own 100Days, I’d love to hear other people’s experiences.