The Best Laid Plans

I had grand  plans.

I wasn’t in school, I was working somewhere cool (Sick Kids Hospital, in genetic research), and I thought I had all the time in the world. 

And now I’m planning to head back to school tomorrow, and I’m thinking “where did the time go?”

It goes to show that if you hype something up too much it inevitably comes crashing down around you.

I’ve been trying to convince myself that I’m sick, and it’s not me, it’s the drugs that aren’t doing what they’re supposed to. I’ve slipped in and out of depression without ever acknowledging it for years, but it caught up with me in 2015, and it didn’t seem like the antidepressants I was prescribed did anything, which was always a possibility. 

With the start of 2016, I guess I’m getting caught up in the hype of “starting fresh” and all the “new year new you” stuff people have been talking about. 

I’m not making resolutions, just giving myself a stern talking to, because you’ll never get better if you assume you’ll always be sick.

This is a long and drawn out way of saying that my blog silence is going to continue until I’ve healed a bit.

I lied, I’m making a resolution.

My New Years resolution is to come back to this blog, without fanfare, but with a greater sense of calm, and a lesser sense of obligation. This blog represents me when I’m happy and creative, which doesn’t mesh with me when I’m stressed and sad.

Because I’m doing this for me, aren’t I?

  
I’ll leave you with the wish tree from Chatsworth House, and a quote from the Bloglovin’ blog:

“Don’t glamourize sadness. Sadness isn’t beautiful”

Happy New Year, I’ll be back.

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